Music Only She Can Hear
by el dinosaurio
Summary: Rin can hear music that no one else can. She doesn't tell anyone because she feels alone without it. What happens when Len feels drawn to her and her mysterious "gift"? T for safety. Noncest. ON HIATUS
1. The Music

**The Music**

I walked to the café, wondering if I'd see _her _today.

I walked into the building, inhaled the rich scent of coffee.

And there she was.

Her golden hair, the same shade as mine, sweeping around her shoulders while her head slightly bobbed up and down, the white bow positioned just so on her head, like rabbit ears, moved slightly with her movements. Her eyes closed, focusing, I guess, on the music.

Music only she could hear.

I tried to imagine what kind of music she heard made her move like she was.

Oh, how I longed to talk to her, to learn of the music.

I willed myself to move, but I couldn't. It was as if I was rooted to my spot, like a small tree, a tree whose leaves changed to a yellow long before autumn.

I finally uprooted myself from my spot and made my way towards her, wondering all the while how I'd get her attention.

Just as I was about to reach her, her eyes snapped open. She looked around, locking eyes with me. It's then I notice how amazing her eyes are. They're a blue that it seemed you could get lost in.

I continued to hold her deep blue eyes as I continued my course towards her.

When I get to the table, she begins to look me over, as if she was studying me. She looked so pretty like that.

Finally looking away she says, "You can sit if you want."

I decide to take the seat across from her, "Hi. I'm Len." I extend my hand.

Looking at me, she says "Rin." I retract my hand after it seems she won't participate in a handshake.

"Hey, what were you listening to?" I ask, not wanting to sound like a creep.

Rin looks at me like I have a giant octopus that built a nest out of leeks and cherry stems on my head, "What are you talking about?"

I say, "You were bobbing your head and it looked like you were listening to music."

She nods, "Oh. I was listening to 'S my D' by Blood On The Dance Floor."

"But you don't have any headphones."

Rin smiles, it's just a small smile, "I don't need them."

My brow furrows "What are you talking about?"

She explains, "I hear the music. In my head, I mean."

I nod, trying to understand, "Basically, music that only you can hear?"

Rin looks up at me, giving me a bit of a smile, "Right."

I respond with confusion, "And you're not at all concerned about hearing music in you head?"

Rin shrugs "I guess it's unusual. I mean, not many people run around advertizing that they hear songs in their head like their brain is a freaking radio. My brain isn't like a radio," She shakes her head, "It's like an iPod, I can control the song choice."

I nod slowly, trying to process the information.

Rin continues on, "Sure, most people would be like 'you should talk to someone about that'. In reality, I seem less, I don't know, alone." She looks down at the table; her thick eyelashes hide her captivating, blue eyes from me.

Only then does the reality of her words set in, "Why do you feel alone?"

"I don't exactly know. Music, though, has kinda been my savior. It speaks out to me, it helps me get through the tough stuff." Rin rolls her eyes, "God, that was so cheesy."

She looks at me quizzically when I stand, "What are you doing?" she asks.

I smile, "I wanna show you something." Holding out my hand, praying she'll take it.

Rin understands my invitation and takes hold of my hand, as if it were the only thing that would keep her from falling off the world.

* * *

><p>I lead her to it.<p>

It's a smooth, shiny black. The lid's open, revealing the white teeth-like keys with the black keys that formed a nice pattern.

It's the piano the store's owner lets me use.

I sit on the piano bench, leaving room for Rin. I pat the empty space next to me, signaling Rin to sit next to me.

Rin fills the space next to me, she looks at the piano, "Why are we sitting in front of a piano?"

I grin as I put my hands in the familiar position, and I begin playing the beginning of a song I'm sure Rin will know.

Rin gasps softly, "That's 'Almost Lover'."

I stop playing and nod "Do you know the words?"

She nods.

"Ready to sing?" I ask, a small smile forming on my face, as I start playing from the beginning.

Rin starts singing; her voice is amazing. I have to focus to not get distracted.

After Rin sings the last note, we sit there for a moment.

I break the silence with, "You have _such _an amazing voice, Rin."

She smiles, "Thanks," then playfully adds, "You're not half bad yourself."

We spent the day talking and laughing, singing and playing the piano.

* * *

><p>Rin leads me to the stoop of her apartment building.<p>

Standing on the second of three gray stone steps, Rin asks teasingly, "Are you gonna ask for my number?"

I pause a moment, "I think I will. Hey, Rin, can I have your number?"

She says in a dramatic voice, "But of course," reaching out her hand she says, "Your phone."

I hand her the black, flip phone without a moment's hesitation, "Give me your phone."

Without looking up, she flips open the phone while saying, "Why?"

I explain with, "So I can give you my number."

Still without looking up, she digs in her back pocket and produces a yellow phone, similar in design to mine.

I program my number into her contacts, after I'm done, I wait for her close my phone.

Snapping the phone shut, she utters a victorious "Hah!" before handing back my phone.

I take back my phone and put it in my front pocket, hold out Rin's phone so she can get it back.

When she reaches for it, I say with a wink, "If you get lonely, call me."

Rin smiles as she returns her phone to her back pocket, "Sounds like a plan," and disappears into her apartment building.

I start on my way home.

My mind immediately wanders to Rin.

On her singing, her golden hair, her blue eyes.

The way she that reminded me of my high school girlfriend, Akita Neru when she was adding her number to my phone.

The relationship with Neru didn't last long, Neru was always glued to her phone and it kinda got in the way of things, so I ended up breaking up with her.

I guess other things about Rin reminded me of Neru. They both had golden hair, but Rin's was far prettier, and, now that I think about it, Rin's much more conversational. She also looked at me when I talked to her.

* * *

><p>I walk into my apartment, going to the kitchen to get something to eat.<p>

I was about to heat up some water for a cup ramen when I heard my cell's ringtone.

Picking up the phone, I flip it open and read the contact, my eyes widen at the name.

Neru.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **What's this? A new story? I know I should be working on the stories that I've already started buut, is one just kinda sprung out at me and I just had to write it!


	2. Sheet Music

**A/N:** I don't own Swedish Fish, Jujubes. Buffy, Veronica Mars, Black Adder, or Twilight. Or Vocaloid.

* * *

><p><strong>Sheet Music<strong>

I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do. Why was Neru even calling me in the first place?

I wracked my brain for possible reasons why, but in the end, I produced no reasons I could see.

Curiosity got the better of me and I pressed the 'talk' button and brought my phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" I say into the receiver.

"Surprise, you." The voice on the other end purrs in what, I'm guessing, is supposed to be a seductive manner.

In a bored tone I ask, "Neru, why are you calling?"

A moment of silence creeps into the air, and for a moment, I am truly scared that Neru's going to show up out of nowhere and murder me with a knife.

Then her voice sounds through the receiver, "Aww, you don't sound happy to hear from me. Did you even miss me?"

I start to rub my temple a bit in irritation, I can tell this is going to be a _long_ conversation, "It's a surprise hearing from you alright, but I can't decide if it's a good one."

Neru continues to try to sound seductive, "I've been thinking about you."

My irritation grows, I manage to grind out, "Is that the reason you've called me? To tell me you've been thinking about me?"

Neru continues, fail seductive tone and all, "I really miss you, Len. I believe it was wrong of you to break up with me."

I use almost my entire reserve of self-control not to scream at Neru, as calmly as Lenly possible, I tell her, "I believe it was the right choice."

Neru starts her sentence, I'll never hear the ending though.

I hung up on her mid-sentence.

I look at the phone in my hand, flipping it open; I go to block Neru's number.

* * *

><p>I walk to the café, hoping Rin will be there.<p>

I walk in, scanning the room. Starting with the brick wall on my right side, art for sale hanging on it, to the register with menus hanging above it from the ceiling, surveying until my gaze meets the left wall, brick like it's counterpart but artless.

I survey my surroundings again, catching sight of her blonde hair, taking notice that her bow is absent.

I walk over to her, sitting across from her, "Hey, Rin," I smile.

She smiles back, eyes sparkling, and gives a small wave, "Hey, Len."

"Did, uh, I interrupt anything? No songs?"

Rin shakes her head, "No," then taps her head with her right pointer finger, "like an iPod, remember? Not a shuffle, though, maybe a nano or a classic. I get song control, play and pause. Shuffle if I'm feeling frisky."

I reach out with my left pointer finger, touching her forehead, saying with a volume only the two of us could hear, "Not a radio brain."

She repeats at the same volume, "Not a radio brain."

* * *

><p>I sip the coffee I had ordered, while Rin asks me, "Favorite candy? Favorite show? Black or white? Vampire or werewolf? For or against Twilight?"<p>

I think for a moment, "Swedish Fish. Black Adder. White. Werewolf. Twilight was god awful, so very much against. What about you?"

Rin looks at me with a confused expression, "Hmm?"

I laugh a little, then quote her words, "Favorite candy? Favorite show? Black or white? Vampire or werewolf? For or against Twilight?"

Without missing a beat, she answers, "Jujubes. Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Veronica Mars being a close second. Black. Mermaid. Wholeheartedly against."

I make a noise that's along the lines of 'pshpshpshkshkshkshshsh', "Mermaid wasn't even a choice."

Rin shrugs a bit, "You never said I couldn't choose it."

I smirk, "Touché."

There's a moment of silence before Rin says, "Hey, Len?"

I sip my coffee again, "Mm hmm?"

With her eyes cast downward, she tentatively says, "C-can we go to the piano again? I have something I wanna show you."

I nod, "Of course. When do you want to go?"

Rin shrugs, eyes still downcast, "How about when we finish our drinks?"

I nod, "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

><p>Rin and I venture to the piano.<p>

I finally take notice about where it's situated; in the back, where it seems no one can disturb us while we play.

Rin and I sit on the bench at the same time. She pulls out a folded piece of paper, and starts unfolding it.

As more of the contents of the paper are revealed, I notice curious horizontal bars with lines separating spaces, dots placed on or between lines. Chords, single notes.

"Sheet music," I breathe out, barely audible even to myself.

She smoothes it out on her lap, "It's not much," placing it on the piano's music stand.

Placing her hands in position, she takes a deep breath, plays the first notes.

We let the last notes fade, before Rin snatches up the sheet music and refolds it, "It's still a bit rough."

"It's still wonderful. When did you write that?"

She puts a finger to her chin, "Yesterday," her brow furrows, "and this morning, now that I think about it."

I am truly amazed, "Wow. You wrote that in less than 24 hours?"

Rin nods, "But it still needs a lot of work. Thanks for listening to it though."

I respond sincerely, "It was my pleasure."

* * *

><p>We walked out of the store, neither of us knowing what to say.<p>

Rin suddenly says, "Favorite fruit?"

I automatically respond with, "Banana. You?"

"Orange," she adds, "the banana is an awkward fruit."

"Don't be hating on bananas."

She scoffs, "I'm not hating, just pointing out a fact."

I shrug, "I guess you're right, they do have an awkward shape, but they do have a bunch of qualities that make up for their shape."

Rin looks at me quizzically, "Name one."

"For starters, they're very portable."

With an intrigued tone, Rin says, "Do go on."

I continue, "They also do not require washing before consumption, they also have potassium."

Rin nods, "I see. Bananas do have redeeming qualities, I guess."

* * *

><p>Again, Rin stood on the stoop to her apartment.<p>

Instead of asking for her number, Len asked, "Can I see your apartment?"

Rin smiles and bites her bottom lip, shaking her head no. Turning, she walks up the remaining stair, and opens the door to her building. Looking back over her shoulder, she says, "Maybe someday," then, walking into the building, closing the door, leaving a speechless Len behind.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** That seemed like a good place to stop. I will update my other stories. Eventually.


	3. Broken Chord

**A/N: I don't own Rubbermaid. I think that's how you spell it. Or The Big Lebowski. Or Vocaloid. **

* * *

><p><strong>Broken Chord<strong>

Rin and I were talking on the phone; I held the black object to my ear, hanging on every word that she said.

"They're really good. You've never tried it before?" Rin's melodic voice sounded through the speaker.

I smile even though she can't see me, "No, I've always eaten my strawberries au naturel."

Disbelief seeped into her tone, "For reals? You've _never_ had them with sugar before?"

"Never," I confirm.

Rin says, "We're going to fix this. You can't continue on without knowing the excellence that is the strawberry with sugar."

I laugh a bit, "How exactly do you plan on…" I'm not sure how to finish the sentence.

Rin finishes, "taking your sugared strawberry virginity?"

We both start laughing.

After the laughs and stray giggles stop, Rin says, "Well, there is always the date option; picnic in the park? I bring the strawberries, you bring the sugar, and we both bring a bowl?"

I check my cupboard for sugar; I find it on the middle of three shelves, nestled between the bag of flour and the brown sugar, "Sounds like a plan. Meet at the park in about 15 minutes?"

"See you then." After I hear her words, I close my phone, a smile tugging at my lips.

* * *

><p>I walked along to the park, pretty sure I looked quite odd carrying a bag of sugar and a bowl, not that I cared.<p>

As I got to the glorified lawn that was our small town's park, I saw an oversized white ribbon, which lead down to golden hair. I quickened my pace so I could get to Rin faster.

I sit on the plaid blanket she had laid out, "Hey, Rin."

Rin smiles, holding out the Rubbermaid container, "I present you with strawberries. Do you have the sugar?"

Holding up bag, I smirk, "But of course."

She holds out her hand, "Gimme, gimme, gimme."

I give her the sugar, "So, now what?"

Rin smiles, taking the bowl she had brought with her, it was shallow, but bigger around, she placed some strawberries in it, taking the sugar, she practically dumped fistfuls of sugar onto her strawberries, "Now, it's your turn."

I take my bowl, a standard shaped bowl, and place strawberries in it, putting half the amount of sugar than Rin had.

Rin smiles, taking a strawberry and starts eating it, "Mmm."

I follow suit, the taste was like a regular strawberry but sweeter, obviously, "Strawberries with sugar are quite good."

She nods, scraping up some of the excess sugar that was at the bottom of her bowl, "But if you get too much on one, though, it dulls the taste of the strawberry."

"Really?" I ask before leisurely biting into a strawberry.

Rin takes the last strawberry in her bowl, dragging the fruit through the blanket of sugar that coated the bowl's bottom, putting in front of my mouth, "Try it."

I bite into it, chewing it thoughtfully, "It just tastes like sugar, with a bit of something else."

She smiles, her tongue sticking out a little bit, "That's a good way to put it."

* * *

><p>I trudged off in the opposite direction of Rin.<p>

I like being in her company, and as cheesy as it is to say, I don't like it when we have to leave for the evening.

It's like the curtain's closed for an intermission, a long and painstaking intermission.

I walk into my apartment, taking off my shoes; I walk to the kitchen, placing my bowl in the sink and the sugar back in the cupboard.

I walk to my room, removing my shirt and grabbing the black tee I use to sleep in.

I remove the pants I was wearing and was about to change into the red plaid pajama pants that I normally slept in when I heard a voice behind me, "Hey sexy."

A shiver runs down my spine and I turn around to face the voice's person, said person has blonde hair pulled into a single side ponytail, yellow eyes that were partially lidded, a light yellow nightgown that ended in the middle of her thighs, and she was leaning against my doorway.

"NERU! What are you doing here?" I exclaim as I quickly pull on the pajama pants.

Neru feigns hurt, walking towards me until she was about a step away from being too close for comfort, "Why should I need a reason to visit you by surprise?"

I furrow my brow, "I don't know, Neru, since it's trespassing, maybe?"

She takes a step towards me, I step back as if she would poison me if she touched me, "How did you even find where I lived? I never told you."

Neru purrs, "I have my ways," she kept walking towards me and I kept backing up until I was pressed against the wall.

I shake my head, pinching the bridge of my nose, "You need to leave."

Neru looks at me, in a strange, whiny tone, she says, "Where will I stay? I have nowhere to go."

I sigh, knowing this conversation would result in a headache if we continued, "You can take the couch. I'll take out a blanket for you," walking out of my room.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Aaaaaannd can we feel the upcoming drama? No?


	4. Records

**A/N:** I don't own anything besides the plot.

Edited from original because I found mistakes about unintentionally switching between first and third person.

* * *

><p><strong>Records<strong>

I wake up, glancing at the clock; I throw the covers off of myself and stand from my bed.

I drift into the bathroom, closing the door before stripping for a shower.

I step into the tub, closing the plain white shower curtain around me, turning the water to my favored temperature; I stand under the spray, letting it roll over my body.

I stretch, my joints cracking, my muscles protesting against the movement a little.

I shampoo my hair, inhaling the scent of coconut, I rinse out the shampoo's lather, grabbing the conditioner, massaging it into my hair.

After waiting for the three minutes the conditioner tells me to, I rinse it out; liking the way my hair feels as I pass my fingers through it, checking to make sure I got all the conditioner out.

After washing my person off, I step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist, grabbing another one to dry out my hair. After making sure the towel around my waist is secured, I walk to my room.

I emerge from the bedroom in a white long-sleeved t-shirt with blue sleeves; written across the chest in black was 'the dude abides'.

Neru, still dressed in the same clothes as she was yesterday, was sitting on the couch, lazily trying to find something to watch on the television.

I walk towards the door, "I'm going out. Don't mess up anything."

* * *

><p>I walk into the café to find Rin glaring at me.<p>

I say, "Hey, baby," leaning down to kiss her, only to have her turn her head, so I kissed her cheek instead.

I sit across the table from her; she still didn't look my way.

Rin takes in a loud breath, "Len, I think we should break up."

My brow furrows in confusion, "What? Why?" I searched for any possible reasons to why she would want to end our relationship.

Rin scoffs and shakes her head, muttering, "And to think that I was foolish enough to think that you'd be the faithful type…"

Still confused, I ask, "What are you talking about, Rin?"

She finally looks me in the eye, her blue eyes hardened with anger, "A pretty boy like you, of course you'd have girls falling all over you and I know how _difficult_ it is to choose _just one _so why not have many?"

I furrow my brow more, growing even more confused, "Rin, I don't understand _why_ you want to break up."

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head at me, blonde locks swaying slightly with the movement of her head, "I know I'm not the only person you're dating."

"You're my only one, Rin."

She collects her things, "That's what they all say," before walking away from the café and me.

I catch her wrist before she got to the end of the street, "Why do think that?"

She huffs, without turning, she says, "I called today and some _girl_ answered your phone."

Pulling her wrist away from my grasp, "Good bye, Len. I don't want to see or speak to you again," walking away from me.

* * *

><p>I storm into my apartment, Neru was lying on the couch with her feet were on the armrest, her knees were bent, making the hem of the nightgown slide down so it was dangerously low on her thighs.<p>

I creep to the armrest of the couch that Neru's resting her feet on, "Neru. Leave."

Instead of moving from the couch, she changed her position. Moving to face me, she moved to her hands and knees, slowly dipping her chest down, leaving her bum in the air, her yellow, predatory eyes never leaving my form.

Through closed teeth, I grind out, "Neru…"

Wiggling her bottom in a _very_ unattractive way, she purrs, "Do you need to relieve some stress? I know a _very_ effective way."

I smirk, with sarcasm practically dripping from my words, I say, "Mmm. Do you now?"

Neru crawls closer while dramatically swinging her hip with the movements of her legs.

When she stops, her hands rested on the armrest, she was still on her knees making her face is centimeters away from mine, her breath tickling my face a tiny bit. A smile on her face, "Oh, yes."

I chuckle, "Does this way involve you?"

Neru purrs, "It does."

"Does it involve you leaving?"

Neru doesn't respond, instead, she leans back to sit on her knees, "Why don't you want me anymore?"

I run a hand through my hair, my soft, coconut-scented hair, "I don't know, Neru, it might have something to do with the fact that we dated long ago and I broke up with you for seeming to love your phone more than me," my voice started to rise, "It could also be the fact that I met someone that I _really _liked, and I believe that you could've contributed to the fact that she doesn't want to be in contact with me anymore!" Unshed tears started to sting my eyes.

Neru looks to the side, clearly ashamed, "I still love you, Len."

"Just leave, Neru."

Neru silently gets up from the couch, making her way to the door, stopping with her hand on the doorknob, she looks at me with the same predatory eyes as before, "You will be mine again," before departing.

I turn my back to the door, drifting towards the bedroom.

I was having a moment when you feel like you could start crying at anytime, when your legs just don't feel right, like they'll collapse in on you at anytime, when you feel like you're alive but you aren't _really_ living.

I haul out my old record player, my stereo, my records, my cassettes and CDs.

I choose Wilco's CD "Being There", choosing to play "Red-eyed and blue", pressing play on the stereo; Tweedy starts crooning through the speakers.

I lie on my back, looking at my ceiling, thinking about Rin.

The way her golden hair was always so shiny, and soft looking. The way it would move around her shoulders when she would nod when listening to the music that played in her head, some unknown song dominating her head while we sat in comfortable silence, sipping our drinks in the café.

When she played the piano for me, her fingers seemed to gracefully caress the keys in a way that would make any pianist proud.

The way she could play something by ear if she really wanted to but hardly did because she loved sheet music.

I love her smile, especially the one she'd had when she confessed that she had written most of the song she played for me, but I'd inspired her to add more onto it.

How she seemed to look at me, only me, when we talked and we forgot the rest of the world.

We both found out we're majoring in. I learned she was majoring in art and she learned I was majoring in English.

When we'd be walking down the street and she'd grab my hand, and continue on.

How she didn't really _care_ what other people thought of her.

Rin was a mysterious young woman, and I wanted to know _more_ about her.

I felt drawn to her in some way, like she was the sun and I had been pulled into her orbit.

It was like we'd built up a carefully balanced kingdom with each other.

And Neru destroyed it, all of it, in one move.

Suddenly, the tears leak out.

The drops of moisture make a trail down the sides of my face; I can feel the warm liquid fall into my ears.

The CD stops, I take it out and swap it for "Transatlanticism" by Death Cab for Cutie, letting Ben Gibbard sing me into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I personally think I did well with this chapter. Anyway, reviews are amazing.


	5. Harmony

**Harmony**

It's been approximately 1 month, 3 weeks, 5 days, 19 hours, 27 minutes, and 12 seconds since I last spoke with Rin.

I haven't been outside in 3 weeks.

I've had either a banana or instant soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I alternate between lying on the floor and on my bed, staring at the ceiling, only getting up for food and to use the bathroom.

My hair isn't silky smooth and coconutty anymore, now its all clumpy dry and stanky from the lack of showering.

I know; I'm a total wreck.

Reaching for the black rectangle that is my phone, I dial Rin's number. Several rings later, I hear the bubbly recording of her voicemail message "_Hi! This is Rin's voicemail! Leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as possible! Bye!"_ A beep followed the message.

"Hey Rin, it's Len. Again. Call me back," I snap the phone shut with a sigh, out of the 29 calls I've made to Rin in the time since we last spoke, she's answered the phone exactly 0 times.

I wondered what she was doing then. Was she at some art museum looking at canvases of solid colors and thinking about how creative it is? Or was she walking down the street with some lad she'd met and was getting to know, grabbing his hand randomly? Showing someone her apartment, the apartment that I wasn't allowed into? Meeting the man she knew was the one for her?

I felt a familiar tugging at my heartstrings at the last thought that had passed through my mind.

I didn't think I had any tears left, but I felt the sting of unshed tears behind my eyes.

Skipping to the 6th track of the CD in the stereo, I try to find patterns in the ceiling, quickly losing interest.

My stomach growls, I've been hungry for about a day, I've run out of bananas and instant soup. All I have left is a can of chickpeas.

I don't like chickpeas.

I peel myself from the floor, knowing I'm going to have to do some grocery shopping.

Stumbling to the bathroom, I strip off my clothes, throwing them haphazardly away from me.

Moving myself into the tub, I close the curtain around me, creating a cage around myself.

Turning on the water hotter than I like it, I let the scalding water run over my person, liking the idea that all the dirt and sweat was getting washed away. I can already see the telltale red on my skin from the too hot water.

Grabbing the shampoo bottle, I squeeze a generous amount onto my hand before recapping it and putting it back on the tub's side.

Placing the shampoo filled hand on my head, I start to work the now sudsing shampoo into my hair.

I could feel the all the grossness of my hair wash away with the shampoo as I rinse it out.

Conditioner followed. As I worked the conditioner through my hair, my mind wandered to Rin. Again.

Does she still go to the café? Has she given up on finishing the song? Does she bring other people to the piano?

More questions swam around in my head; each was unanswered and more and more depressing, most questions were along the lines of 'What if she's moving on?'

* * *

><p>I walk down the familiar sidewalk that led from the supermarket to my apartment building, the same sidewalk that leads to and past the café.<p>

The first time I walked past, I couldn't help but peer into the big storefront windows to see if I can catch a glimpse of Rin.

The plastic grocery bags rustle slightly when I walk, the bags hitting my left leg as it swings ever so slightly.

Again, I find myself looking into the café's window, and I see her.

Her bow is absent today; her blonde locks look shinier than ever. She's sitting at a table in the middle of the building, a blue-haired man sitting next to her. Rin's got a big smile on her face; I can tell she's laughing at something the blue-haired man said.

He looks taller than her, and a couple years older. He's wearing a scarf and a dark blue t-shirt. One of his arms is on the table, while the other arm has ducked underneath, he's probably resting his hand on her thigh; Rin doesn't seem to mind at all.

The scene being played out before me makes me want to run and hide and sulk in the shelter that is my apartment, where I'm safe from the eyes of the world and can be alone in my tears and heartbreak, but I can't. It seems that my body thinks that moving isn't an option.

I stand rooted to my spot, in front of the store's window, thinking about how painfully _similar_ this situation feels to when I first met Rin. This is different, though. I'm not working up the nerve to talk to her, I'm watching her with some man that I don't even know, and I envy him.

I'm jealous of the man whose hand is suspiciously under the table, who's making her laugh, who gets to actually _talk_ to her.

I just get to admire from afar.

I start to space out, not really seeing what was going on around me.

The small tinkling of the bell on the door brings me back to the real world; I automatically turn to the sound, seeing the blonde I had been watching before.

Startled a bit, I say, "Rin!"

Rin turns to look at me, "Well, this is a surprise," rubbing her arms awkwardly.

"It is," I agree, standing there, probably feeling just as awkward.

Rin starts to walk around me, "I should probably go."

"Wait!" I call out tentatively.

She stops, muttering, "I think I'll probably regret this," she turns so she's facing me, her face a mask of no emotion, "What?"

"Let me explain what happened."

Rin scoffs, "I know what happened. You got sloppy. You left your phone out and when I called and _she_ answered, not knowing it was another girlfriend."

"That isn't even remotely close to what happened. Neru showed up in my apartment, tried to seduce me, guilted me into letting her stay on my couch, then I was in the shower when you called and she answered the phone."

"Neru?" Rin asks, confused.

"My girlfriend for about a month in high school." I shift the grocery bags to my other hand.

"Why was she in your apartment?" Rin continues to question.

"She tried, and failed, to seduce me. I think she's obsessed with me."

Rin nods.

We just stand there; the only sound comes from a small breeze rustling the bags in my hand.

Rin says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"It's okay. You wanna go get some coffee?"

Rin takes in a breath, then shrugs, "Sure, why not."

We walk into the café again; the blue-haired man had already departed.

I follow Rin to one of the back tables, placing my grocery bags beside the table as I sit down across from her.

Rin looks around the café, not making eye contact with me, I stare at the space above her right shoulder.

After a minute or two, I finally ask, "So who was the blue-haired lad with you?"

"Oh, Kaito? He's a friend from university."

"Why was he wearing a scarf?" I ask.

Rin smiles, "I honestly have no idea," leaning towards me, she lowers her voice, "I don't think he's all there, you know? I mean, the man has an oafish smile plastered on his face all the time and he's got this weird obsession over ice cream."

I bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud, "ice cream?"

Rin nods, "I swear his schedule revolves around the times he eats ice cream."

I chuckle softly, "So, what've you been up to over the time we haven't spoken?"

Rin shrugs "Had my art shown in a couple little galleries along with other aspiring artists, painted my bedroom, I was depressed for a little while in there. You?"

"I revisited the more depressing side of my music collection and lived off of bananas and instant soup."

Rin nods knowingly, "Mm. You lead one exciting life there. Don't worry, I had scores of depressing music playing in my head, and the weirdest things made me almost cry."

My curiosity piqued, "Like what?"

Rin's eyes widened a fraction, "like 'Honor To Us All', you know that song from Mulan? Yeah, I swear, tears where _this,_" she held up her hand and made a small space between her pointer finger and thumb, "close to spilling out."

I restrained giggles.

Rin playfully hit my upper arm, "Hey, it's not funny."

I point to myself, "I haven't laughed in weeks, _weeks_. I pretty much find anything funny at this point."

Rin smiles and lowers her gaze to the table, just letting out one soft laugh.

Rin and I stayed at the table for hours.

Both of us ordered coffee, which they brought to us in a cup, a simple cup with a large round shape, and a simple handle. Mine was a bright yellow and it rested on the red plate they had given me to keep coffee rings off the tables. Rin's was a loud green, she held it in her hands, the blue plate sat on the table in front of her.

Rin asks, "Do you ever get the feeling like you're empty inside? Like you wake up every morning and look at the empty side of the bed and wonder if someone will ever lie next to you?"

I watch as she blows lightly on the liquid in the cup before bringing it to her lips, "Sometimes I find myself hoping that one day I don't have to be alone anymore."

Rin places her coffee cup down on the plate, "I've been getting that feeling a lot recently. There was a time, though, that I believed I wouldn't get that feeling anymore."

"When did you believe this?"

Rin looks down at the light brown coffee in her cup, "When I met you."

* * *

><p>Rin and I walked down the familiar street-lamp illuminated streets to get to Rin's apartment.<p>

As she had some many times before, she stood on the second step on the stoop to her apartment building, biting her lip, she asks, "would you like to come up?"

I nod, walking up the steps to join Rin.

Rin opens the door and I follow her into the building.

It was like the standard apartment inside, stairs to the right, light yellow mailboxes blended with the wall they were on next to the elevator, the floor had the standard, gray rug thing on the floor, covering the tan tiles.

Rin grabs my left hand, leading me towards the stairs.

Guiding me up to the second floor, Rin walks down the hallway a ways, stopping in front of a door with the number '212' in a gold color.

Still holding my hand and looking at the door, she says, "Well, this is it," taking a key out of her pocket, she puts it in the lock and gives it a twist.

Twisting the doorknob, she pushes the door open.

'Her apartment is nice', I think as we walk into the living room. The walls are off-white, three black and white pictures that make up the Eiffel Tower hang from the wall to my left, a tan couch sat in the middle of the room, and a table with a dark finish was pushed up behind the couch.

On the middle of the table rested a bonsai in a small, wooden, square pot. An origami swallow folded with blue paper sits proudly on one of the bonsai's small branches. Pictures were placed on either sides of the small tree, two on each side.

The picture on the far left was of Rin smiling widely in front of a store, snow dusting the surroundings, a white and black checkered print scarf is wrapped around her neck, she has a black pea coat on, her cheeks rosy from the cold, Rin was flashing the camera a peace sign. I couldn't help but smile slightly at the sight.

The next picture was of Rin and a boy on the beach. The boy has a teal hair and one of his arms around Rin; the other hand is by his side. He has teal swim trunks on. One of Rin's arms is outstretched, the other resting in her lap. She has on an orange bikini.

The next photo was of Rin sitting in front of a canvas, a brush in her hand, touching the canvas, paint palette smeared with paints in the other. She was sitting on a wooden stool; she had a light blue tank top on, paint smeared on it, a smear of black paint was on her right cheek. Rin's tongue stuck out a tiny bit in her concentration. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun; pieces of hair framed her face, while other pieces fell out of her bun and stuck up around it.

The last photo showed Rin sitting by an older man in a hospital bed, his hair and eyebrows gone. The man had a tube to help him breathe around his head; Rin's eyes were soft and loving as she looked at the man. Rin's hand was resting on the bed next to him. Both Rin and man were smiling about something, probably a joke or a story Rin was sharing with him. I couldn't help wondering, 'who is he?'

I called to Rin, who was in the kitchen, "Hey, Rin! Who's the man the photo?" I hear the clink of dishes along with the opening and closing of cupboards, guessing she didn't hear my question.

Then she asks, "Um, which photo are you talking about?"

I say, "The one on the far right."

Rin's voice becomes tinged with sadness, "That was my dad, he died two years ago," her voice suddenly becomes brighter, "Is hot chocolate okay?"

I walk into the kitchen, "Sounds good to me."

While Rin bustles around the kitchen, I look it over. White linoleum floor, white fridge, white stove with black burners, green numbers displayed the time where the controls for the oven were, white topped counters with dark tan wood, the same kind of wood for the overhead cupboards. Various jars lined the wall next to the stove; spatulas and various spoons were all in a holder on the other side of the stove.

After surveying the kitchen, my eyes rested on Rin, who was moving about the kitchen, opening cupboards to get mugs, closing them seconds later and moving on before they shut with a small bang. I watched her as she continued to get the supplies needed for hot cocoa.

* * *

><p>We sat on Rin's bed, facing each other. I sat cross-legged while Rin sat with her knees out in front of her with her legs bent at the knee, each leg resting on either side of her body.<p>

Rin looks down, "You're the first person who I've shared this much of my 'world' with."

I ask Rin, "Why don't you let people into your 'world'?"

Rin looked straight into my eyes, "Things get messy if you're close to someone and things go bad."

I reach out to touch the soft skin of Rin's cheek, "I'm glad you're showing me your 'world'."

Rin smiles, "I'm glad, too."

* * *

><p>I glance at the digital clock on the bedside table. The numbers told me it was 3 A.M.<p>

I stand, "I should be going," turning to leave, I feel something grab the hem of my shirt.

I hear Rin say, "Just stay?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Longest chapter yet! Sorry if everyone was OOC, especially Len. I also apologize for the super omega cheesiness that was in some of this chapter.

Honestly, this was a difficult chapter for me to write. I think it's difficult for me to portray sadness through writing.


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